


Here Comes The Feeling You'd Thought You'd Forgotten

by hoeziers



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Coping, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, F/M, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Grief/Mourning, M/M, The Turtle (IT) CAN Help Us
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21843013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeziers/pseuds/hoeziers
Summary: Richie took a deep breath. He watched his face in the mirror, watched as his nostrils flared a bit when he breathed in through his nose, watched as his pupils shifted in size as they adjusted to the early morning light of his bathroom. He puffed up his chest, putting his hands on his hips, then let his stance loosen.It was officially a month since he left Derry.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's a coping fic, baby!
> 
> Content: descriptions of grief after losing a loved one, mentions of past domestic violence, past drug use, alcohol use.  
> Song title from Horchata by Vampire Weekend

Richie took a deep breath. He watched his face in the mirror, watched as his nostrils flared a bit when he breathed in through his nose, watched as his pupils shifted in size as they adjusted to the early morning light of his bathroom. He puffed up his chest, putting his hands on his hips, then let his stance loosen. It was cheesy, it was always so cheesy, but it helped a little bit to just take stock of his body, feel in the moment. He took another deep breath, and then he walked out of the bathroom.

It was officially a month since he left Derry. A month and two weeks since the whole Pennywise situation went down, but a month since he officially drove past the “Hope to see you again!” leaving Derry sign. He had flipped it off, whooping as he finally left that town for the last time. He had to stay longer to clear up some things regarding Henry Bowers. Turns out killing an escaped murderer isn’t something that can just be blown off. Who knew? And, truthfully, it was hard to leave. If he stayed, he could have stayed in the Town House and pretended that Eddie’s room next door was still Eddie’s, like he could come back at any time.

Richie’s heart lurched at the thought, and he closed his eyes, took another deep breath. He’d let himself feel the pain, because repressing it would be worse. He wanted to just repress it, bury it down and just try to go on with life not thinking about the amount of loss his body is holding, but he couldn’t anymore. He didn’t want to be the repressed kid who covered everything with jokes anymore. He wanted to be a healthy adult who processes his trauma and who makes jokes but without them being a front. Besides, he made a promise, and his friends were very particular about keeping promises.

He walked down the hall to his bedroom, and grabbed his phone from the charger. Bill was back in London, so he often sent some messages during the evening, usually when he was bored at work. The guy really liked his memes, and found some that managed to earn a few barks of laughter from Richie. This morning, there were two messages from Bill to the Losers Club group chat, a response from Mike, a text from his agent, and a message from Beverly. He hummed, the opening of a tv show from the 80s, and flopped down onto his bed. He went to the group chat first.

“In between takes. Just thinking of you all,” Bill had sent, around 11am his time and around 3am Richie’s time. He tapped the message and hit the heart reaction. There were already two of those, one from Mike and one from Bev. The next message, sent closer to 5am Richie’s time and 1pm Bill’s time, was a meme. Richie had seen it a few times, a few years ago, but it still made him chuckle. It made Mike laugh too, considering he sent back two crying-laughing emojis. Richie’s expression softened. He still struggled with the idea that he lost this for so long, when now he wasn’t sure how he could live without these people. He opened Beverly’s message next.

“3 more days! Almost ready for you!” she had sent, along with a picture. It was a picture of a gorgeous bedroom, modern and minimal, with a beautiful view of Chicago out the window. On the bed was a basket, holding toiletries, a bottle of wine, some snacks, and a small sign that said “Welcome Home, Trashmouth!”

Richie’s heart practically skipped a beat. “Never loved you more,” he sent back. After a moment, he followed up with, “So excited. Can’t wait to be roomies.” He looked around his bedroom. A lot was already packed up, and a lot had already been shipped to Chicago, but most of it was going to be trashed or donated. He didn’t live extravagantly. A lot of his furniture was used, things he had picked up when he had less money that he just kept bringing with him. It wouldn’t be worth it to haul it all the way to Chicago. Since Beverly was already there, he let her make executive decisions on their new apartment, and simply helped finance it. She had sent him pictures of the apartment in the week leading up to his move, a new room each day. She was an actual angel.

Beverly’s divorce was finally finished up, and she and Ben were going strong. She wasn’t ready to live with him just yet, however, and had casually asked if Richie if he was interested in being roommates. There was nothing keeping him in LA in particular, and he knew Beverly was worried about him, and not being in the same state as any of the Losers felt constricting. Bill was in London, Mike was touring Florida, Ben was always hopping around but was mainly based in Nebraska, and Beverly was in Illinois. Out of all of them, Chicago was the most appealing. The comedy scene was pretty cool, and growing. He was excited to become a part of that. Maybe he’d help some kids who wanna grow up and be like him and he can impress them.

Richie grinned, and stared up at the ceiling. He hadn’t been thinking about the future a lot. It was hard to with the depression and grief and every shitty feeling he had clouding his mind. He had been sure that he would never be able to think about the future without feeling like shit. It was still hard, but now it felt like he could find happiness, or make happiness, or feel happiness. It felt cheesy, but it felt fucking good.

Richie’s phone buzzed again, and he opened the message. It was his agent. And with that, Richie’s day started, and maybe he felt a little lighter than he had in the past month, and maybe he felt like he had a better handle on things, and maybe he didn’t feel as hopeless.

~~

The three days until Richie was piling his things into a moving truck passed pretty quickly, which he was pretty pleased about. He was sure it would drag on, but thankfully moving two thousand miles away involves tying up a lot of loose ends, which means being kept busy. Soon enough, Richie was being dropped off at LAX by his agent, his remaining possessions too big for a plane in some U-Haul on its way to Chicago. As he soared through the air, he leaned his seat back, and closed his eyes. He had, of course, gotten first class. While he skimped on luxuries in other places, he wasn’t going to skimp here. Planes are shitty enough, he might as well do it in style. And with some alcohol.

He had cut back, a lot. Definitely not enough, but he clung to alcohol to replace some of the other things he had picked up in the years since he moved from Derry at 13. Bev had mentioned the possibility of looking into Alcoholics Anonymous, insisting that she doesn’t think he has a problem but if he felt he did he had options. He entertained the notion, but he wasn’t ready yet. He did go with her suggestion of therapy, however. Richie liked it. He couldn’t tell his therapist everything, definitely not the whole killer space clown stuff, but he had been able to talk about his feelings for Eddie, his feelings about his death, and how he felt now that his life had changed so drastically. Sometimes that was the hardest part: how different things were becoming. Now that the Losers were back in his life, he knew he had to take better care of himself. The Losers would rip into him if he kept making some of the stupid choices he had been making, but more than that, he wanted to take care of himself and be alive to be with them.

Cheesy as fuck, he thought as he snorted, before letting himself fall into a nice wine nap.

It wasn’t a long flight, just over 4 hours, and Richie woke up as the plane made its descent. As the plane paused on the tarmac, waiting to pull into its gate, Richie turned on his phone.

“I’ll be at the baggage claim!” was the first text to come in from Beverly. A few more text messages came in from the Losers Club group chat. There were well wishes from everyone, and then discussions about the next time they could all be together in person. Richie’s heart jumped. He had been dying to be back with everyone, but hadn’t been sure on how to approach that subject. They had lots of time to make up for, he felt, but he couldn’t stop the nagging worry that they’d grow sick of him.

He huffed and shook his head. They’re his friends, they love him, he reminded himself. Hell, he was about to move in with one of them, and it was because she asked him.

Just then, the plane pulled into the gate. Richie practically ran off of it, his carry on bag bumping against him as he bounced with each step.

~~

“Rich!”

Richie had about a 5 second warning after Beverly screamed his name to drop his things and catch her as she came crashing into him.  
“Jeez Bev, why didn’t you throw yourself at me like this when we were kids?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist and twirling around.  
“Beep beep! Let me just enjoy being with you before you ruin the moment with your mouth,” Beverly answered, and then buried her face in his shoulder. He held on tight, even as he let her feet touch the floor again. He rested his cheek against her head. After a few moments, they finally pulled apart, and Richie picked up his things.

“Miss Beverly, it’s an honor to be reunited with you,” he said, shifting his bags so he could take one of her hands. He kissed the back of it loudly. Bev rolled her eyes, but smiled, and reached out for his rolling suitcase. He tugged it out of her reach, but since she is not one to be stopped, she just pushed past him to grab it.

“Thanks again for being willing to just… Drop everything and move here,” she said as the two started out to the parking lot. “I know it was pretty random, but…”  
“You know me, I love random,” Richie replied. Beverly smiled.

Richie knew a little bit of why Beverly wanted to live with him, at least for now. He figured it had to do with her ex husband, and wanting to keep safe. He would have pointed out that Ben was jacked and could probably take the shithead more than he could, but he also knew she had some anxiety about jumping right into her relationship with Ben. She told Richie that she wanted to take a little time before they started talking about moving in. Richie got it, kind of. Trauma doesn’t just erase overnight, and even someone like Ben could be intimidating after the shit she went through.

“No, but seriously, I think it’ll be good. For both of us. My agent has some connections here, got me in contact with some people at Second City, which is a little different for me but fuck it, I’ll do anything. And he talked about getting a few gigs set up, y’know, to make up for that cancelled tour. It’ll be good,” he rambled on. “Fuck, it’ll be good.”

“I’m excited for you, Richie,” Beverly said, and she sounded more genuine than he ever heard someone be. He grinned down at her, and she smiled back, leaning against him for a moment as they walked.

It didn’t take long to get to her car, and she helped him put his things in the trunk. After they got settled in the front seats, she turned to look at him.  
“Now, Richie, are you excited to see your new home?”  
“Well golly, Bevvie, I sure am,” he replied, with a Voice reminiscent of a kid from a 50s tv show. Beverly shook her head.

“I dunno, I don’t think you’re ready… It’s truly some of my best design work, if I must say. Maybe I should abandon fashion and go into interior decorating.”  
“You and Ben could start a mega business with that idea. The pictures looked really nice, definitely something people would pay a lot for.”  
“Oh, but I saved the best room for in person.”

Richie frowned. There had been 7 pictures total that she sent him. Entryway, living room, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, her room, and his room. They were all extremely nice, and big. It was open concept, and he liked the idea of having parties with the Losers there, playing Scrabble in the living room and arguing about whether or not “Beyonce” counted as a word. He would rig the game to get that argument, if he had to.

But what other room could she be holding out on him?

“Marsh, you’re playing dirty here,” he said. Beverly gave him a wicked grin, and she looked like she was a child again, ready to get into mischief with her friends. She started the car and then started the ordeal of trying to leave an airport parking garage. Eventually they were driving through the city, and Richie stared out the window. He had experienced Chicago a few times for tours. He couldn’t believe how close he had been to Beverly, in those instances, and how he didn’t know that one of his best friends from childhood was in the same city as him.

“Ben will be flying in on Saturday,” Beverly said, breaking the comfortable silence. Richie whipped his head around.  
“Real Life Ken Doll and also your boyfriend Ben Hanscom is coming and you just now decided to tell me?” he asked, holding a hand to his heart. Beverly rolled her eyes.  
“We finally confirmed the details while you were on the plane, and I was so captivated by your presence it simply slipped my mind,” she replied. Richie nodded.  
“Damn right!”

He sat back in his seat, and smiled. Ben and Beverly had left almost a week after the IT showdown. Ben had tried to stay longer, to support Richie with the legal business, but he was called forth to do his architecting. Beverly also tried to stay longer, but she had her own legal business to sort out as well, getting everything she rightfully earned from her ex husband in the divorce process and all that. Bill left the same day as Richie, and they had a total bro hug in the airport where they absolutely cried. Mike left the next day, after making sure that everyone else was still able to remember everything.

Needless to say, it’s been a while.

They pulled into the parking garage for the apartment, and Beverly hopped out. She ran to the trunk and started grabbing Richie’s things before he even thought about getting out of the car. He groaned in response, and got out, watching as she carted his bags up to the doors. He followed behind her, after making sure she had everything.

The two chatted away on the elevator ride up, and soon enough they were outside their door. Bev had already put out a cute welcome mat and hung a little flowery wreath on the door. Richie felt his heart skip a beat, and he smiled at Beverly.  
“Looks cute already,” he said.  
“This is nothing!” she replied. She unlocked the door, and walked in.

Richie knew what to expect here, he had seen the entryway and the living room just beyond it, but it was still so much more than he imagined. It was big, bright, beautiful. It felt welcoming and happy and optimistic. He looked around as he walked in behind her, closing the door with his foot. She had taken her shoes off, so he did the same, and followed her as she started down the hall.

To his right was the living room, with plenty of room for their friends. After it was the kitchen, with just a small bar counter separating the two rooms. To the left was the dining room, just as bright and airy but a little more private. As he followed Beverly, he was surprised to see so many closed doors. He had guessed one had to be the bathroom and two had to be the bedrooms, but that left one other door unaccounted for.

Beverly went right to that unaccounted-for-door.

“Your suite, Mister Tozier,” she teased, and swung the door open.

Inside was almost nothing like the picture Beverly had sent him. There was a large window with a beautiful view of the city and the welcome basket was on the bed, but otherwise the room was completely different. It was painted over, a light blue instead of the white walls of the rest of the apartment. There were framed movie posters decorating the walls, vintage posters of Richie’s old favorite horror movies and old school comedies, and a poster for the Star Wars movie he (kind of) worked on. There was a desk, two dressers, and a tall shelving unit. One of the shelves had a few action figures on it, again things from movies he liked or worked on. The desk was against one of the walls, and two books sat on top of it. Richie walked over to look at them. One was a Steve Martin autobiography, and the other was Bill’s most recent book.

He set the books down and whirled around to stare at Bev.  
“So you lied about the photo,” he said.  
“I’m sorry! I had to keep this a surprise. I wanted to make sure you knew that this was your home too. You were letting me take the reins on decorating but… I wanted some Richie Tozier influences. We can put anything you want around the place too, I just figured having your room be unique could be… Good for you. A safe spot, y’know?”

Richie let her finish speaking before he took two large steps over to capture her in a hug. He was gentle, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Beverly squeezed tight, and that seemed to be the breaking point for him as he started to sob into her hair.

The tears flowed freely, and he felt like he was drowning. He felt her hands on his face, felt her gently lead him to the bed, felt her nudge him so he would sit. He followed her lead and sat down, only moving when she tugged him into her arms.

They spent a couple minutes like this, Richie crying onto Beverly’s shoulder as she gently patted his back and ran her fingers through his hair.

The sobs started to quiet down, and soon he was simply sniffling. It was still a few more moments until he spoke again.  
“Man, 12 year old Richie would be wetting his pants if he saw that I got Beverly Marsh into bed,” he mumbled. She lightly bopped him on the head, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

When she felt that he got it all out, she tilted him back, looking at his face. She lightly wiped his cheeks with her sleeve, and he smiled at her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you,” she said, voice quiet. He quickly shook his head.

“No, no. It’s good tears, well, mostly. It started from it. I think,” he explained. He sat up, pulling from her grasp, and stretched. He took a few deep breaths, feeling the air go in his nose and into his lungs and out of his mouth.

“I forget that I have so many amazing people,” Richie explained. “I spent so l… Y’know, the past few years... I’m just glad you’re here, and that we have Mike, and Bill, and Ben too.”

Beverly nodded, and reached up to pat Richie’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

“Bev, can I… Tell you some things?” he asked.

“Of course, Rich,” Beverly replied, almost immediately. She pulled him in again, and he got comfortable, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling into her shoulder.

“Sooooo…” he drew out the word. It was harder than expected. How do you just tell one of your best friends forever all the shit you’ve been up to since you’ve been separated for 27 years?

“Sooooo,” she repeated. He huffed a laugh before continuing.

“Sooooo… I’m gay.”

He felt her nod a little bit, which was a good sign.

“Like, super gay. Like, secret alias at West Hollywood gay clubs gay,” he continued, and he could feel her snort.  
“Thank you for telling me,” she said, and he couldn’t quite place her voice. He pulled back to look at her, and she simply smiled.  
“What are you hiding?” he asked.  
“What?”  
“You look guilty.”  
“Guilty of loving your stupid ass,” she teased. He grinned, nodded, and curled back up.

“Good. Wouldn’t want it any other way,” he said. He closed his eyes. “Anyways, y’know, had trouble making it on my own, resorted to ghostwriters to get the job done, had to be this super gross straight guy in those jokes so I just kept everything closeted and did things on the DL, y’know?”

He waited until he felt her nod before continuing.  
“And now… I’m ready to be true to me, or whatever slogan comes with this shit,” he said. Beverly squeezed him tight, and suddenly Richie felt his eyes water again.

“And,” he started again. “And… God, I don’t know how to fucking say this. I was so fucking in love with… With Eddie. And I saw his stupid face in Derry and wanted to drop everything to be myself then, just to have a chance with him. And now he’s gone but… I still want to do that. For him.”

Richie had felt Beverly tense briefly when he mentioned Eddie, but she relaxed, and just squeezed him tighter. He felt something wet on his cheek, and peeked up. Beverly’s eyes were closed, but he could see a few little tears on her cheeks. He reached up to wipe at them like she did, though she was probably more gentle than he was. She giggled, though, and Richie chalked that up to a win.

“I think he’s really happy about that,” Beverly said, opening her eyes to look at Richie. He nodded a little bit, and looked away.

“I think so too,” he agreed, and now he actually felt like she was right.

\--

The next few days passed peacefully. Beverly and Richie celebrated their first night in their new apartment together with Chinese food, wine, and movies, staying up so late they ended up falling asleep on the couch together. Richie complained the next day that he didn’t even get to sleep in his new bed yet, but he was smiling the whole time. Beverly got back to work, finishing up the last few things to transfer the brand and business to strictly her name. Richie had his audition, and started working with Second City.

On Richie’s second day in Chicago, he saw his new therapist. He told her as much as he could, bar any alien clown nonsense, but especially told her about what he told Beverly. It felt good, telling someone else, someone who didn’t know about his history with Eddie. Someone who didn’t look at him and remembered how much he clung to the other boy. It helped him start to visualize a Richie-Without-Eddie.

She helped him picture his pain, and how it might always be there but it could become manageable, and that he was taking the right steps for that. After leaving his appointment, he downloaded Grindr. Then he got terrified by that level of dedication and instead opted for Tinder.

He didn’t use it much, this first week was busy, but he had started to find some fun in going on it and looking at profiles. It was like people watching but he could be on his couch in sweats.

Time passed and Richie developed a new normal. He did performances at Second City Thursday nights through Monday nights, Tuesday and Wednesday were his days off, and he had therapy late Tuesday and Thursday mornings. He and Beverly spent almost every other night together, watching movies or tv shows together. They liked to order out and made a game where they took turns choosing a new restaurant at random, but Beverly was also an amazing cook and started to teach Richie some things.

More importantly, Richie came out. First, to the Losers. When Ben flew into Chicago, Richie demanded Mike and Bill FaceTime them all for a mini reunion. There were lots of laughs and catching up before Richie cleared his throat, asking for everyone’s attention. Bill started to tease him, but Beverly shushed him, and then Richie came out. He told the Losers everything, how he had been in love with Eddie as a kid and how the womanizing jokes were a front, what he had been up to after he moved from Derry, about the ghost writers, about what happened when he walked into the Jade of the Orient restaurant and realized that he didn’t want to hide anymore. Bill, despite his earlier negging, was the first to start crying, and Richie let him blame it on the wine and how late it was in his time. Ben pulled him into a back breaking hug, and Mike blew kisses from Florida, and Beverly smiled at Richie like she knew this was how it was going to play out all along.

After the Losers, it was time for the world. His agent, still based out of LA, was pretty confused about it all when Richie first called and told him, but tried his best to be supportive. They came up with a game plan, and Richie came out on a talk show. It wasn’t exactly his preferred way of doing it, he had been fine with the idea of just a tweet or something, but his agent did make a point that it would look better if he did a whole interview about what happened when his tour got cancelled, why he was involved in a murder trial in a small town in Maine, his return to performing, and his coming out.

Things went better than he expected. His fanbase fluctuated a lot, but he didn’t really lose a ton of followers. His personal humor was still a little trashy at times, so his college bro fans from like, Boston and New York were still around, but now he had a bunch of gay people watching him, even some teenagers. It was weird, like he was supposed to be some role model now, but his therapist helped him look at it as something he could strive for.

~~

One day, a little over a month after Richie moved, Beverly approached him. He had been sitting on the couch with his laptop. The tv was on, but he was busy staring at a word document. He did a handful of his own gigs already, but a lot of those jokes were old ones he had simply upcycled. Now he had to prove himself and write his own things. He had tried it before he got signed with his agent, but he had already been putting up an act then. This was his first time writing as himself, and while in some ways it felt easier, it also felt much scarier.

Beverly sat down next to him, and he could tell that she was only pretending to watch tv. She let out a few “hmms” and a few little snorts, but they sounded fake. After letting her play along for a little bit, he closed his laptop and turned to face her.  
“Yes, Beverly, light of my life?” he asked.

She looked at him, blinking in mock confusion before smiling.

“Oh! Richie, I just had an idea. We’re having a celebration when the new fashion line drops. Big, fancy party, the works. Ben might be able to fly in for it,” she said.  
“Boyfriend for your plus one? Fabulous idea,” Richie replied. He grinned when she made a face at him.

“I’m not done! Anyways, I want you to come.”  
“Me? Shouldn’t only like… Fancy, famous people go to that?”  
“You’re famous.”  
“Not fancy?”  
“Well…”

Richie leaned forward and put his laptop on the coffee table. He thought about it. Celebrating Beverly was one of his top favorite things to do, along with celebrating the other Losers, but attending parties where he only knows one or two people was one of his top least favorite things to do.

“Won’t it be weird if I’m just a third wheel with you and Ben? Like, that situation will make it a real third wheel moment, not like when we were kids and we went to the movies together.”  
“I did consider this, and I think I have a solution.”  
“What are you planning?”

He gave her a look, and she smiled sweetly back at him.

“You can have a plus one if you want.”

This suggestion took Richie by surprise. He blinked, and looked over at the tv so he didn’t have to look at Beverly. He hadn’t gone on any dates yet, but he did check Tinder about once a day and had sent a few messages. There were some decent enough guys on there, and he felt a little guilty for not talking to them as much as he maybe should if he actually wanted to get something out of all this. His schedule was busy, with prime date time being when he was working.

He also wasn’t sure if he was ready.

He had been making progress in therapy, and it helped that he did it twice a week. He still thought about Eddie every day, but it wasn’t as often and wasn’t as painful. Sometimes he’d see a man in a suit walking quickly down the street, and he’d wonder if that’s what Eddie was like in New York City. Sometimes when flipping through channels he’d see a movie that he and Eddie watched, sometimes he’d find comics in the store that he and Eddie read, sometimes the radio would play songs that he and Eddie listened and sang along to. A lot of the time he welcomed these thoughts, happy that even if he didn’t have Eddie at least he had these memories.

There were times where it got bad, though, where he’d have to pull over his car or hide in the bathroom of a store to cry it out, but he didn’t get as broken up about these breakdowns as he used to. He accepted that they were part of the cycle, and that this was normal, and that it was healthy to let it out.

But in the end, dating still seemed like an impossible task.

“You don’t have to,” Beverly quickly said, reaching out to lightly pat Richie’s shoulder. “You don’t have to come, but if you do, you don’t have to bring anyone.”

Richie smiled and looked back at her. He leaned in to give her a quick hug, and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Thank you for the offers. I’ll think about it, I swear I will. When is it?”  
“Two weeks, Saturday the 21st.”  
“Perfect. I’ll bring it up with Laura in my next session, I think she’ll help me weigh my options.”

Beverly lit up at this, and she hugged him tight.

“I’m so glad she’s working out for you.”  
“Me too. I hate shopping around, even for therapists.”

~~

Saturday The 21st was nearing, and Richie still wasn’t sure what to do. He had decided to at least go, taking that night off of work, because being with Beverly and Ben and celebrating all of Bev’s hard work was something he didn’t want to miss. Beverly was excited by this step of the decision making process, and quickly got to work helping him find a nice suit. He had offered to pay her for her help, since with her around he hadn’t really needed to find or pay for a stylist, but she said that it’s just what best friends do for each other, and that she missed picking out clothes for people since her job became more focused on designing.

What Richie hadn’t decided on yet was if he was going to bring a date. He knew it was cutting it close, because he should probably not ask someone to go to a big event for big names in fashion the day of. He should probably make a little conversation, maybe meet in person beforehand. He did go on one date, and it was fun, but he panicked and accidentally ghosted the guy. When he went to message him back a few days later, Richie found that he was no longer listed in his Tinder messages.

It was the Friday before, Richie had the night off, and Ben was going to fly to Chicago that afternoon. The plan was that he was going to take a quick nap, and then they were going to get a big fancy dinner and get a little wine drunk. Richie was fixing a brunch, which was really just cereal at 1pm, when he heard a knock at the front door. He looked at the time and blinked. It wasn’t Ben, considering he was still in the air and Beverly hadn’t even left to go pick him up yet.

“I got it,” Beverly called to him as she walked past the kitchen. He turned to watch, angled so he could see the door but whoever was there likely wouldn’t see him. She walked up to the door and peeked through the peephole.

She froze, staring for longer than she should have. Richie frowned.  
“Bev?” he asked.

His voice seemed to snap her out of it, and she quickly started to unlock and open the door. And then she screamed. Richie dropped his bowl of cereal, and felt it shatter on the ground, the milk soaking his socks.

Standing in the doorway looking very much alive was Eddie Fucking Kaspbrak.

“Jesus, you don’t have to be so loud,” Eddie grumbled, but he was smiling. He held a cane in one hand, and there were heavy bags under his eyes. He moved in to hug Beverly, but she jumped back, turning to look at Richie. The fear in her eyes put him into action, and he stormed over, getting between her and the Eddie-Lookalike.

“What the fuck?” he asked, voice rising. “Who the fuck are you? Do you think this is funny? How did you find this address, how-how do you know what he looked like?”  
“Rich, Richie, it’s me,” Eddie said. He held his hands up in front of him, looking between the two. Richie frowned, not quite trusting, but he leaned around Eddie to close the door. The three stood in the entryway, Bev poking her head out from behind Richie’s shoulder.

“You guys left me in Neibolt,” Eddie said, voice soft but not accusatory. “I looked… I probably was dead. I don’t know… I woke up in the hospital. I got pulled from the canal. Where…”

The words hung unsaid in the air. That was where Adrian Mellon was killed.

Richie’s alarm bells were blaring. This was too good to be true, it had to be fake, it had to be IT again. But they had killed IT, or else they wouldn’t remember…

Richie ran his hands through his hair, cursing. He looked at Beverly.

She seemed less scared now at least, and was moving around Richie towards Eddie. He looked small, weak, and he held himself like he was hurting. Of course he hurt, a claw stabbed through his fucking chest.

“Tell us something that only Eddie would know,” Bev said, crossing her arms. Richie grinned, unable to help it. She was so cool.

“Um… Richie wanted to be a ventriloquist when he grew up,” Eddie said after a few moments. Richie made to interrupt, but Bev quietly beeped him. “He told me in the attic above my garage. It was summer so it was hot and musty, and we were reading comic books. We were talking about our grown up plans, and that’s what he said his was.”

Richie flushed, and looked away when Beverly looked at him. He nodded.  
“That’s true. I mean, I talked about wanting to be a ventriloquist during interviews before, but… I never talked about having that conversation.”

Beverly seemed to accept this. She still looked a bit wary, but she gestured into the apartment.  
“Why don’t we sit, maybe eat something, and we can talk about what happened?” she suggested. Eddie nodded, and looked over at Richie.

Richie was more hesitant. This was terrifying. Was it possible that Eddie was just alive this whole time? Was it possible that Richie had given up on Eddie, abandoned him? He grimaced at the thought, then noticed Eddie’s face fall. He blinked, and then quickly shook his head.

“Sorry Eds, not making that face at you,” he said, and he bit his lip when he realized how easy it was to slip back into this. Did that mean all his work to bettering himself would fall away just as easily?

Eddie’s face lit up for a moment, and then he furrowed his brows.  
“That’s not my name, asshole,” he retorted, his smile giving him away.

The three made their way over to the living room. Eddie gingerly sat on the armchair, sitting awkwardly. Beverly and Richie took the couch. The three stared at each other, before Eddie cleared his throat.

“I think it was the Turtle,” he said, as simple as if he said that he thought the weather was nice today.

“What?” Richie asked.  
“I think the Turtle kept me alive, or brought me back, somehow. I don’t know why. If it could have saved anyone…”

Richie’s heart skipped a beat, and he pointed a finger at Eddie.

“Kaspbrak, if that is your real name, don’t you start with that. If you were saved by the God Turtle, then there was a reason, don’t pull this thinking you’re not worthy to be saved crap.”

Eddie flushed, surprised at Richie’s sudden emotions, but he nodded.

“Well, I guess you’re right, since here I am. I woke up in the hospital, but I was told I was found floating in the canal. I think when Neibolt came down, things got swept out in the Kenduskeag. Or maybe I was the only one who got swept away… Anyways, it was weeks after everything when I woke up. I wasn’t even in Derry anymore. I got airlifted to Boston, and was at Mass General. It was… Really touch and go.”

Richie felt his heart break now, watching as Eddie’s face looked so solemn as he talked about what he experienced, what he thought happened. He looked like he had been so lonely until now. He probably was. He wished he knew, he would have been there, he would have sent flowers, he would have watched him and been the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes.

Richie reached up and slid his hand under his glasses, covering his eyes. He felt a few tears drip down his cheeks, but he tried not to make any noise. This wasn’t his time, it was Eddie’s time, he owed it to Eddie. He felt Beverly pat his shoulder lightly, and after a few moments he looked back up.

“Sorry, you can continue if you want,” he said, softly.

Eddie looked as heartbroken as Richie felt, and he probably would have kept crying if Eddie didn’t continue.

“I had to go through surgery, physical therapy. It still really fucking hurts. The Turtle could save me but couldn’t make it easy, that’s for sure. Of course my phone got destroyed by the water, too, and everyone else felt it was more important that I focus on healing instead of getting a new phone.”

“Why didn’t you get a phone and contact us before you came here?” Beverly asked. Richie nodded, glancing at her and then back at Eddie.

Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times and then shrugged.

“I didn’t have access to my old one. I couldn’t just get your phone numbers. I don’t know how Mike did it, you’re all famous. Why were our numbers so readily available then but not now?” He shifted, and reached up to lightly rub at his chest, a spot that Richie knew all too well. “And my ex was trying to keep a fucking leash on me-”

“Wait hold up! Ex?” Richie asked. Beverly gave him one type of look and Eddie gave him another, but he couldn’t read either of them.

“Well, yes, soon to be at least. When I was released, I got the things in order. Had to prove I wasn’t losing my mind or something, they thought it was some kind of symptom of shock or whatever. Then I bought a plane ticket here.”

“How did you know where to go? If our numbers weren’t easy to find, how was our address any easier?”

Eddie shrugged again, but looked apologetic.

“I really wish I could explain it. I got off the plane and checked into a hotel, and then something hit me. It was like I knew exactly where to go. It was… It was like when we first got to Derry, except I wasn’t gaining memories. I just had an… Instinct? But then I started to walk, and turns out my hotel was just a block away. So I walked in and then I got in the elevator and pushed a button and suddenly I saw this door and the doormat and wreath screamed Beverly and I just knew.”

“Why here, then?” Richie asked. “Like, you could have gone to London to see Bill. Or Florida for Mike. Or LA, last you saw I was living in LA, right?”

Eddie flushed and looked away. Richie looked at Beverly, eyes wide, as if she would know what this meant, but her eyes were still fixed on Eddie.

“Your talk show came on the hospital TV,” Eddie said. Richie blinked a few times, and Eddie kept talking. “You talked about moving to Chicago with a childhood best friend.”

The fact that it was the show he came out as gay on hung unsaid between them.

Beverly slowly stood and walked to the kitchen. She heard her gasp, and he looked up in time for her to turn and face him.

“Richie, did you leave this mess?” she asked, as if it could have been anyone else.  
“Uh, yeah, our dead best friend was at our doorstep, I kind of had more important things to do than clean.”

Eddie started to laugh, and heat spread through Richie’s body. The two men looked at each other and shared a small smile before Richie got up to clean his cereal mess. Beverly helped with the pieces of the bowl, and when she finished with that she went to ask Eddie if he wanted anything. She made a few quick sandwiches, just turkey and cheese on white bread, and brought them out to the living room with a bag of chips and some bottles of water. When Richie finished with the mess, he walked back out. Eddie was already eating, and he ate like he hadn’t in a while. He probably had shitty hospital food, Richie realized, and he was glad that Beverly was such a good host.

The three turned on the tv and ate in comfortable silence. It was weird, it was so normal, despite everything. Even though Richie was wondering what was going to happen next, whether or not this was a dream, and what this meant for his progress, he felt comfortable.

Eddie wiped his mouth on a napkin and set it on the paper plate.

“Thank you, Bev. This was delicious. Like, I think this is my new favorite sandwich,” he said, leaning back in the chair. He still moved stiffly, but at least he looked a little more relaxed. He patted his belly and smiled.

“Well, don’t get too attached. While you’re here, we gotta show you Potbelly.”  
“There’s literally those in New York.”  
“But it’s special when it’s here!”

Beverly laughed, shaking her head.

“Thank you, Eddie. You still hungry?”  
“No, no, full as can be. Thank you though.”  
“How long are you staying, anyways?”

Eddie blinked, looking up at this question. He then shrugged.

“I didn’t exactly buy a return flight. I didn’t know… What would happen. It was really spontaneous and probably stupid.”  
“Wow, I didn’t know you could be spontaneous, Mr. Risk Analyst,” Richie snorted.

“Fuck you, dude.” Eddie huffed, closing his eyes for a moment, before looking back at Beverly. “I can leave whenever. I know this is probably hard to deal with. Plus I need to contact Bill and Mike and Ben…”  
“Oh!”

Beverly picked up her phone and jumped up.

“Shit, I forgot about Ben. He’s going to be landing in like 30 minutes.” She ran off to her bedroom.

Eddie and Richie watched as she went before looking back at each other.

“Well… Want a tour?” Richie offered. Eddie smiled and nodded.

Richie gave the rundown of the apartment. He had started slow, but Eddie insisted on walking at a fairly average speed, sometimes thumping Richie’s feet with his cane if he felt Richie was moving too slow. They paused in the dining room to bicker about it, before starting down the hallway.

“That’s Bevvie’s room. She opted for the room with the walk in closet over the room with the bathroom, which I greatly appreciate, because I wouldn’t know what to do with a walk in closet,” Richie explained. He gestured to the bathroom, which mainly had Beverly’s things in it, then opened the door to the guest room. This was the room that Beverly had sent Richie a picture of, pretending it was his room. After looking around, Richie lead the way to his room.

Eddie let out a chuckle as the door opened and he took in the sight. He walked in, looking around at Richie’s things. It was messier than when he moved in, but he was getting better at picking up his clothes and not leaving them on the floor. There was more character, too. A framed photo of him, Beverly, and Ben from when he first moved to Chicago was on his shelves, along with framed copies of photos of the Losers as kids that Mike found when he packed up and left Derry. Eddie walked over to look at these, picking one of them up. He stared at it, his face unreadable.

“Look at those fucking shorts,” Richie blurted out, pointing at the child Eddie in the photo. Eddie snorted.  
“They were cool then,” he said simply. He stared for a few more moments before he spoke again. “Look at Stan.”

Richie looked over Eddie’s shoulder at the child version of Stan in the photo. He looked both annoyed and delighted, an almost constant for him, and it was hard to tell if he was scolding someone or laughing with them. He heard Eddie sniff, and Richie frowned, reaching up to touch his shoulder.

They both paused. It was the first time they touched, actually touched, since they left Eddie in Neibolt. Eddie put the picture down quickly and turned to look at Richie.

“You got like 5 seconds to tell me no,” Richie said.  
“What? What does that mean?”  
“I’ll be gentle.”  
“Rich, seriously, what-”

Eddie was interrupted by Richie pulling him into a hug. Like he promised, he was gentle, but he still heard Eddie let out a hiss. He loosened his arms more, trying not to squeeze him too hard. After a few moments, Eddie shifted and brought an arm up around Richie, soon followed by his other arm, cane leaning against the shelves.

The two hugged for what felt like a few minutes, just breathing each other in and reassuring themselves that the other was alive, and here.

And then Richie started to cry.

Eddie went into high alert mode, trying to get Richie to sit down. He wasn’t as gentle or soothing as Beverly had been when he cried on her in this same room, but he was so perfectly Eddie that Richie sobbed even more.

Richie let Eddie squirm out of his grip enough to nudge him to the bed, and Richie sat down on the mattress, hard. He held his face in his hands as he sobbed, loud and unfiltered. He could feel the bed shift as Eddie sat beside him, and he found himself pulled into Eddie’s arms. It wasn’t a tight grip, but he knew it was because of the pain Eddie was in and not because of him or anything. Eddie’s fingers stroked his hair, and he huffed whenever they got stuck in some of his curls. Eddie smelled nice, like laundry detergent, despite having been on a plane earlier.

“What’s wrong?” he heard Beverly ask, and he could only assume she heard him and came running.  
“I think he’s just letting it all out,” Eddie said. He heard Beverly’s heels on the hardwood, and felt her sit on the other side of him. She leaned in, wrapping her arms around both him and Eddie.

The three sat like this for a few minutes, until Richie’s sobs started to die down. He took a few deep breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth, and eventually looked up at Beverly and Eddie.

“Wow, I got Beverly Marsh and Eddie Kaspbrak in my bed?” he joked, voice cracking only slightly. He heard Eddie huff.  
“Beep beep, idiot. Can’t you just enjoy a single moment?”  
“Why? I have so many moments to enjoy, I can’t single just one out.”

Beverly got up and stepped in front of Richie. She knelt down to talk to him, like he was a child, but he didn’t have it in him to feel any type of way about that.

“I have to go get Ben. Will you be okay?”  
“Definitely, definitely,” Richie assured her. “I have Eddie, he might as well be a registered nurse with all he knows.”

Beverly smiled, but then fixed him with a look. She hugged him again and kissed his cheek before getting up.

“I’ll be back soon. You two be good,” she said, and walked out.

After a few moments, Eddie let his arms fall from Richie. The two looked at each other, just kind of staring, taking each other in. Eddie looked so tired, and his face was even thinner than it had been before. Richie assumed he looked both disheveled from crying, but also probably better than he had looked in Derry. He finally was taking better care of his hair, so it was less like a bird’s nest every day, and he shaved more regularly. He still had his big, stupid glasses, even though he had considered contacts a few times.

Eddie smiled a little bit.

“You look good, Rich,” he said. “I’m… I’m really glad to see it.”  
“Hey, thanks. It’s amazing what therapy and a really good best gal pal can do for a guy,” Richie replied.  
“You’re going to therapy?”  
“Yup,” Richie said, popping the p sound. The two looked at each other, and he shrugged. “You don’t come back from losing two of your best friends to a clown monster without a little trauma.”

Eddie’s face fell for a moment, and he nodded.

“I’m glad it’s helping you. On the show, you seemed really… You seemed like a new man. You seemed more yourself. Like, you know I saw your special before we all met back up in Derry, and there’s a huge difference between that Richie and this Richie. This Richie is the Richie I know.”

Richie wondered if Eddie purposefully didn’t add “and love” like the saying usually went, but he didn’t have time to come up with a joke about it, because Eddie was still talking.

“And… I’m proud of you, and happy for you,” he said. “Y’know, coming out. It’s not easy.”  
“Oh yeah? You know?” Richie said, like it was a joke, but when Eddie didn’t immediately shoot back a snarky reply, he paused.

Eddie flushed a little and looked away.

“Why do you think I rushed the divorce?”  
“Uhh, because your wife was Sonia 2.0 and you already had to deal with one of them, so why make yourself deal with another?”  
“Well, that is a factor.”

Eddie sighed and looked back at Richie.

“Aren’t you supposed to have, like, a gaydar?”  
“Eds, that is a harmful stereotype. I’ll have you know it was hard enough to understand my own sexual orientation, let alone someone else’s.”  
“You fucking idiot.”

Eddie raised his hand to his face, and Richie blinked.

“Uh, yeah, I know, but usually I know why you’re calling me that.”  
“I’m gay too, you fucking idiot,” Eddie said, words slightly muffled behind his hand.

Richie stared at Eddie, and then fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Eddie, used to Richie’s eccentricities, simply carried on, letting his hands rest on his lap.

“Seeing you on tv, talking about being gay and like, wanting to be true to yourself was cheesy as fuck, but it got me thinking. If Richie can spout these cheesy sayings but seem like he really believes them, then why shouldn’t I?”  
“I do believe those cheesy sayings,” Richie retorted back, at a loss for what else to say.  
“Yeah, that’s the point. Everything about you screams anti-cheesy sayings. But you’re not. You’re pro-cheesy sayings.”  
“Therapy does that to ya.”  
“God, just let me talk. Anyways, I figured if you can be proud, I should too… Like Stan said.”

Eddie turned his head to look at Richie again.

“You read his letter?”  
“Mhm. Myra brought my mail to the hospital. That plus your talk show really got me thinking.”  
“Glad to be of service, Eddie Spaghetti.”  
“Wow, you really don’t stop, do you?”  
“Do you expect anything less from me?”

Eddie’s face softened, and he shook his head no. Richie sat up, lightly looping an arm around Eddie.

“Glad to help, Eds. I’m… I’m really glad,” he said. Eddie snorted and leaned in, resting his head on Richie’s shoulder for a moment.  
“Don’t let it stroke your ego too much. Want to help me get in contact with Mike and Bill?”

~~

For the next hour, Eddie sat on the living room couch FaceTiming Mike on Richie’s phone. Richie had texted him, opting to tell him over text first so he didn’t open the call and get a faceful of Eddie like he did. Mike got teary eyed as Eddie explained what happened. Mike talked about what he learned from his Derry Deep Diving, and the two came to the conclusion that the Turtle saved him for reasons that were unknown but very appreciated. Richie participated in the conversation somewhat, but he let Eddie and Mike share this for the most part. He sat beside Eddie, typing on his laptop, wondering how to turn this into a joke.

It felt so perfect, sitting with Eddie like this. It was like they were an old married couple, doing their own thing but just enjoying each other’s presence. He felt a familiar pang in his heart, his feelings for Eddie bubbling up in his throat. But just because Eddie was also gay didn’t mean anything. Eddie probably had standards.

Eventually, Mike had to run, and they all exchanged “I love you”s with each other. Richie had started to suggest that they go get Eddie a new phone when he heard keys at the lock. Beverly opened the door, and Ben made quick work scooting past her.

“She told me everything on the ride,” he said, dropping his bags. “Eddie…”

Eddie carefully stood, holding himself up with his cane, and soon he and Ben were hugging. Despite being all kinds of ripped, Ben was probably even more gentle with Eddie than Richie had been. Richie looked up at Beverly, and she smiled at him.

“I’m beat, but I want to say I’m so, so glad you’re here,” Ben said, looking down at Eddie.

Eddie flushed a bit and nodded.

“Me too, Ben. These past few months were the hardest thing ever, even without the recovery stuff,” he said. Ben patted his back, gently, and the two pulled away.

“Alright, I let Eds go first because he’s been dead to us until now, but it’s my turn!” Richie slid his laptop off his lap and onto the couch, and jumped up to hug Ben.

“Really, that’s what you say? Are you aware that you’re the biggest dick ever?” Eddie asked, but he was smiling.

“Yeah, I have the biggest dick ever,” Richie replied, letting Ben give him the big bear hug that he couldn’t give Eddie. Beverly laughed while Eddie rolled his eyes.

When the two pulled apart, Ben picked his things back up, and Beverly lead him down the hall. Richie and Eddie watched the two, before looking back at each other.

“What brings Ben in? Anything special?” Eddie asked.  
“Beverly has this big gala tomorrow night… Oh! I have a plus one, would you want to…?”

Richie felt his stomach churn. The thought of asking any of the men on his Tinder to be his plus one hadn’t felt quite right, and he figured it was because he wasn’t ready to start dating. But asking Eddie caused him to feel warm, and he was sure his palms were sweating. Did he really make as much progress as he thought he did, if he was able to fall back to being in love with his best friend so quickly?

“Earth to Rich? I said yes, if that’s okay?” Eddie waved his hand in front of Richie’s face, and Richie reached up to swat at it.  
“Cool! I’ll ask Bev.”

“Ask me what?”

Beverly watched them, leaning against the wall to the hallway. She smiled, and Richie still couldn’t quite read it.

“Can Eddie go to the party tomorrow?” Richie asked, feeling every bit like he was asking his mom for permission.

“Oh! That’s genius. That could be fun for you, Eddie, get you out and having a nice night. And we’ll all be together, and when Ben and I inevitably get dragged off you two can keep each other company.”

This time Beverly looked directly at Richie, and he thought for sure he knew what she was saying with her face.

She wanted Richie to tell Eddie.

His face got warm when he realized this and he looked away. Beverly and Eddie started talking logistics, because Beverly wanted to help Eddie look nice for his first big public event since everything went down.

If he hadn’t already cried so much, he probably would right now. What does this all mean for him? Was he doomed to revert back to the mess that he was before everything? Was his progress going to fall away and he was going to go back to using ghost writers who didn’t get him, go back to drinking and doing too many drugs to cope, go back to not being who he really is?

He saw movement from the corner of his eye and saw Eddie walking to the bathroom. When he was behind the door, Beverly came over and sat down with Richie.

“How are you doing?” she asked, voice gentle.  
“I don’t… Know,” he said softly. “I feel like everything is going to crumble around me.”  
“Why do you think that?”  
“I fell in line with him again so easily, it was like fucking breathing. What if I’m not getting better, I was just getting better at lying?”

Beverly wrapped an arm around him and he leaned into her.

“Rich, I’ve seen you change so much already. You look happier! The only time I’ve seen you look this happy, you were a kid or we were at the restaurant in Derry. You’re becoming you again, and you did great work on becoming you without Eddie, but now, you can be you with Eddie. Which I know you’re really happy about, even if you’re scared.”

He hummed in reply, nodding a little bit. His glasses were pressing into her shoulder, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“Have you considered…”  
“Of course I have.”  
“How do you know what I was going to say?”  
“I can read you like a book, Marsh.”

She snorted and hugged him tight.

“27 years is a long time to wait. You have a second chance.”  
“But what if I scare him away?”  
“You won’t. Losers stick together, remember?”

She nudged him up and kissed his cheek. He sighed, nodding a little bit. She had a good point, even if he hated it and was terrified about it.

“Can we offer him the guest room? I feel bad, making him stay at some hotel.”  
“Of course! I talked about it with Ben on the way here, and I was going to ask you. It’ll be nice, four of us under one roof. Did you talk to Mike or Bill?”  
“We called Mike. Bill was working, but he should be finishing up by now.”  
“Hm, late night. I suppose the movie is so close to being done that they’re taking all the hours they can.”

Richie looked up when he heard the bathroom door open, and he watched Eddie walk over. Eddie looked at him and furrowed his brows.

“What are you staring at?” he asked.  
“What, my best friend is alive after I thought he was dead for like three months and I can’t stare at him a little bit?”

Beverly laughed and shook her head. She smiled at Richie, and he realized she might have a point. He felt more like himself, and now he gets to be himself with some of his best friends again.

~~

Eddie graciously accepted the offer to stay with them, insisting that he doesn’t mind staying at the hotel but if they’d have him he’d really, really like it. Richie threw some potato chips at him, reminding Eddie that they thought they would never see him again so of course they want his dumbass self under the same roof. Eddie instinctively made to lunge at Richie, but caught himself before he hurt his chest too much. Richie cackled in triumph, but did slide over on the couch so Eddie could reach him and bop him on the head anyways.

They watched some tv while Ben napped, and around 4pm Eddie decided to go grab his things from his hotel and try to cancel his reservation. After a minute of arguing over whether or not Eddie should walk, Richie won and grabbed the car keys from Beverly.

“It’s good to exercise,” Eddie grumbled as they walked out of the apartment.  
“You walked over here, plus when you leave you’re going to have your suitcases and shit, and I know you’re a heavy packer.”  
“I have two bags, thank you very much.”

Richie waggled his eyebrows for no reason whatsoever but Eddie still whacked his shoulder. The two got in the elevator and then walked over to the car.

“This is a really nice place,” Eddie said, looking back at the apartment building.  
“Bev chose it. She said she always liked it, and when it was time to move she immediately looked into it and a perfect unit was available,” Richie explained.  
“What luck. What made you move out here?”

Richie shrugged, climbing into the driver’s seat. When Eddie was seated and buckled up, he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

“She asked, and I can’t say no to her,” he said, laughing a little bit. “Honestly, it was probably good for me. I had too much shit back in LA that would get me in trouble. Here, all I know are the other people at Second City and Bev, so I can’t get up to much. It felt like the right thing to do, start a new chapter, all that bullcrap.”

“I’m glad it’s working out,” Eddie said. He reached over, lightly patting Richie’s hand on the gear shift. The contact didn’t last long, but it was enough to make Richie feel both relaxed and tense. He missed this, he missed this so fucking much. They were only together again a short time in Derry, but it felt like years, considering how quickly they fell back into the groove of things with each other. The pretend arguing, the way he would rile Eddie up for fun, even the moments of comforting each other, reassuring each other. His relationship with the Losers was everything Richie needed and missed, but his relationship with Eddie was what he had been craving all these years, chasing in anonymous hookups and drinks and drugs.

He shifted, trying to make sure he didn’t start crying, and followed Eddie’s directions to the hotel.

“Do you need help, Eduardo?” Richie asked when they pulled in. Eddie shook his head no.

“It should be easy enough. I can put one bag around my shoulders and drag the roller suitcase. I did it at the airport no problem.”  
“What, those fuckers with the little cars didn’t drive you around?”

Eddie snorted.

“I can walk, Richie, but I do appreciate it.”

Richie watched as Eddie got out of the car. Maybe he was being too much. Eddie had survived these past 3 months without him falling over himself to help him, so he must know by now what he needs to do to get places. He just wanted to make up for lost time.

Richie let his head fall down against the steering wheel, just barely missing the horn. Make up for lost time, make up for lost time, why did that keep coming back to him?

He stayed like that for what felt like a minute or two, but must have been longer, because suddenly Eddie was opening the door.

“You alright?”  
“Yeah, bud!” Richie replied, sitting up immediately. After Eddie got settled in, Richie started to drive.

It was comfortable, they chatted a bit, catching up on things. Eddie admitted that he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Myra got the house, which he said was perfectly fine, and he’d have to go apartment hunting or something eventually. Richie listened, wondering when he could ask Bev if Eddie could stay for the near future. Richie told Eddie about his current work, things with Second City and his comeback to comedy. They had decided to run to the store to get Eddie a phone, so on the drive Richie started to tell Eddie some of the jokes he wrote. Eddie laughed along, and from the look on his face and the way he’d have to pause and rub his chest after laughing too hard, it seemed like he actually enjoyed them.

After getting Eddie set up with a new phone, after Richie added the Losers contact information, the two sat in the parking lot to call Bill. They called from Richie’s phone, and Richie explained the situation briefly as a warning, before Bill threatened Richie into finally handing the phone over to Eddie. The two talked for a while, even longer than he talked to Mike, but Richie didn’t mind. He was just happy Eddie was alive, and able to talk to his best friends again. Richie played around on Eddie’s new phone, setting the lock screen to a picture of the Losers from the Jade of the Orient, and then making the background a selfie Richie had forced Eddie to take with him before everything really kicked off in Derry. He was about to download and create a Twitter for Eddie when the phone call finally wrapped up.

“Sorry! We had a lot to talk about,” Eddie said, handing the phone back to Richie. He took his phone back, and smiled at the new lock screen. He opened the phone, and his expression changed when he saw the home screen. It looked softer.

“Sorry, I figured you’d want my beautiful face smiling up at you every time you looked at your phone,” Richie said. Eddie snorted.  
“Wow, he’s humble,” he replied, before setting the phone down on his lap.

Richie started driving back to the apartment. The two were quiet, Eddie doing some things on his phone. Richie figured he was just trying to get things from the last time he backed up his old phone. He didn’t mind the silence. It was nice to just be with Eddie again. His heart tapped loudly in his chest at that thought.

They got back to the apartment with enough time for them to get ready for their dinner reservations. Beverly assured Eddie that one extra head at the table wouldn’t be a big deal. Richie said it would be fine as long as Eddie didn’t wear a polo. They were about to argue before Bev separated them to their own rooms to get ready.

Soon enough, they were all getting into the car and going to the restaurant. Beverly drove, so Ben called shotgun, leaving Richie and Eddie in the back. Beverly had given Richie another weird little look at this, and now he recognized it as her “I am trying to get you two together” look. He rolled his eyes but smiled and got into the car.

The four had a great dinner. It was a nice restaurant, and they went a little too all out, getting lots of food and drinks. It was worth it, to Richie, just because he got to see how happy Eddie was. Eddie, who had showed up looking so tired and worried, looked like how he should have looked. He looked happy, relaxed, and like he was in the only place he could ever want to be. Richie caught himself staring more than once, only noticing at first because Bev kept tapping his ankle with her foot.

Ben talked about what he had been up to, the building he had been working on in Colorado and how excited he was to have some time off. He slid his arm around Beverly then, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. Richie jokingly made gagging noises until everyone beeped him, and it was perfect. Beverly talked about the event tomorrow, about her new winter line and how excited she was about it. She admitted that she thought this was some of her best design work, and Richie cheered a bit too loudly, spurred on by the love for his friends and the two bottles of wine they had already split.

When it came time for the check, Richie made the quickest grab for it, shoving the credit card he had at the ready when he first saw the waiter approach into the little folder and handing it back to the waiter quickly.

“Rich, c’mon,” Ben said, frowning.  
“Nope! My turn. Get it next time if you want, Haystack.”  
“Really, it’s probably a big tab, we could just split it,” Eddie insisted.  
“Definitely not you, you probably have medical debt up to your eyeballs.”

Eddie flushed, and his injury didn’t stop him from kicking Richie under the table. He was much harsher than Beverly had been, and Richie actually winced.

“Alright, alright, lay off, can’t I be fucking nice?” Richie asked, holding his hands in front of him. Beverly snorted, and he shot her a look. She smiled innocently at him and raised her wine glass to her lips.

Everyone finished up, after promising to pay Richie back and him waving them off, and soon they were back in the car. Ben took over driving, and Beverly ended up in the backseat with Richie, and Eddie in the front. Bev leaned against Richie, playing with his hair, as they drove.

“I styled it just how you taught me to, and now you’re going to mess it up?” he teased her. She nodded, tugging at his curls briefly, before dropping her hand. She closed her eyes.

“I can’t believe this is real,” she said, voice soft. Richie gulped quietly and nodded.  
“It’s like a fucking miracle or something,” he replied.

She leaned back to look at him with a lot of intensity for someone who drank maybe half a bottle of wine herself.

“Don’t waste time, okay?” she said. He blinked.  
“What are… You talking about, Bevvie?”  
“C’mon, Trashmouth, it’s a sign!” she replied, and he shushed her quickly. Eddie, who had been chatting with Ben, turned to look at them.

“Doing okay back there?” he asked. Richie flashed two thumbs up.  
“Someone’s a bit happy,” he said.  
“Of course I am!” Beverly said.

When they got to the apartment building, Ben made a show of scooping up Beverly, causing her to laugh and throw her arms around him. Richie smiled, looking over at Eddie as the two walked ahead of them.

“Disgusting, isn’t it?” he asked. Eddie snorted.  
“I’m really happy for them. I know Ben dreamed of literally nothing else, and Bev, she deserves someone who treats her as well as he does,” he answered.  
“Aww, sentimental Eds!”

Richie leaned in and went to pinch at Eddie’s cheek, but he paused when he saw the scar. He had noticed it before, but something about the wine and the darkness made it seem even scarier.

“Can’t believe Bowers stabbed me in the fucking face,” Eddie said, catching Richie’s line of sight. “He literally could have stabbed me anywhere else if he wanted to kill me, but my fucking cheek?”  
“Makes ya look badass. Tough. Sexy.”

Eddie gave him a look.

“Joking! C’mon, just a joke, Eds!” Richie held his hands up in front of him. Eddie studied him for a moment before nodding.  
“Well, it’s cold. Let’s go in.”

The two walked in, catching up with Ben and Bev quickly. They rode the elevator up together, and soon they were back in the apartment. Beverly hugged and kissed everyone goodnight, followed shortly by Ben.

“Well,” Eddie said, looking up at Richie.  
“This has been a weird fucking day,” Richie replied. Eddie pinched his face, ready to retort, before Richie continued. “You’re back from the fucking dead. I had like, finally started to accept I’d never see you again, even if it still hurt like hell I was starting to accept it. And now… You’re here.”

He accompanied the last bit with jazz hands. Eddie’s face changed, and he nodded a little bit.

“I really… I don’t know why I was saved,” Eddie said, voice suddenly soft. Richie’s eyes widened and he moved closer, putting his hands on Eddie’s shoulders.

“Have you heard of like survivor's guilt? I think that’s what this is. I struggled with that a lot too. But, shit, everything happens for a reason, right? Didn’t you say I was spouting cheesy bullshit and believing it? Then I believe this. I tried to believe it when I thought I lost you. And I believe it now. You’re alive for a reason, Eds.”

The two looked at each other, and eventually a small smile started to form on Eddie’s lips. He looked away, almost sheepishly.

“Thanks, Rich,” he said.  
“Now come here, you sentimental fuck!”

Richie tugged Eddie into a hug, just tight enough to not hurt but to keep Eddie pinned there. Eddie squirmed briefly, but relaxed into it, wrapping his arms around Richie in return. It was nice to have a hug that Richie didn’t immediately start sobbing into.

After a couple minutes, the two pulled away, and Richie tapped Eddie’s cheek with his hand.

“I’m gonna hit the hay. We got a big day tomorrow! I can show you where I work and stuff before we have to get ready for Bev’s shindig.”  
“I’d like that. Thanks again for letting me stay here.”  
“No problem. I’ll collect the bill at the end of your stay.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, and the two walked down the hall.

“Good night, Richie,” Eddie said, opening the door to the guest room.  
“Nighty night, Eddie Spaghetti. Have amazing dreams about how great it is to see me again. I will be having amazing dreams about how great it would be to see your mother again.”  
“Shut the fuck up!”

Eddie snapped louder than either of them expected, and even he looked surprised for a moment. They burst into laughter, Eddie trying hard to shush Richie between his own giggles.

“Good night, dork,” Eddie said, before closing the guest room door behind him.  
“Sleep tight! Think of me!” Richie teased, before going to his bedroom.

Richie puttered around, getting ready for bed. He changed into pajamas and turned off the lights and plugged his phone in and climbed into bed, but when he laid down, sleep didn’t come. He was tired and a little tipsy, so he thought for sure it would catch up to him quickly. He spent what felt like hours tossing and turning, but his brain wouldn’t shut down. The only thing going through his brain was Eddie Eddie Eddie. Eddie was alive, Eddie was here, Eddie was in the next room over. Beverly wanted him to tell Eddie, he wanted to tell Eddie. 

He wanted to tell Eddie.

His eyes shot open and he stared up at the ceiling. It wasn’t just Beverly teasing him. No, he genuinely wanted to tell Eddie.

“Tomorrow night, if Beverly and Ben get swept away by the crowds that be, I will tell Eddie Fucking Kaspbrak I love him,” he whispered to the ceiling as if he was 12 years old again.

Finally, he rolled over once more, and fell asleep.

~~

The day passed pretty calmly, if you didn’t count Eddie trying to tackle him awake that morning.

“You miss me for three months and try to sleep in when I’m back?” he yelled, climbing on top of Richie.  
“You know I can’t shove you off with your injuries,” Richie grumbled.  
“Yup,” Eddie said, popping the p like Richie normally did.  
“Dirty Fucking Kaspbrak…”

Eventually Eddie relented and let Richie up, and the two got ready for the day. Beverly and Ben had their own romantic plans for the day until the event, so it was just Richie and Eddie. Richie didn’t mind, of course. He was excited to show Eddie Chicago.

They went around the lakefront, before Richie dragged Eddie to lunch at Potbelly Sandwich Shop, like he promised.

“So, the Bean is like, a real thing?” Eddie asked, before biting into his sandwich. He had opted for Italian, while Richie got one that the menu had labeled as “A Wreck,” making plenty of jokes about it along the way.

“Uh, obviously?” Richie replied. Eddie shot him a glare. “Ok, I get what you mean! Yes it’s actually really popular. We can go check it out. We can take one of those cheesy selfies together, reflected in it.”

Eddie snorted and nodded, reaching up to wipe his mouth with a napkin.

“Sounds like a plan. We gotta start getting selfies together. The one that you made my background is nice and all but we look scared shitless.”  
“Oh! You kept that?”  
“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

Richie shrugged, and he felt his cheeks heat up a bit.

“I dunno, bro, wouldn’t you do something more simple?”

Eddie shook his head, and continued to eat.

They did end up going to the Bean, and they did take a cheesy selfie in its reflection. They also went to a comic book shop, one that Richie had visited once when he wanted some reminders about Eddie, and took a selfie there as well. They did a little bit more exploring and goofing off and picture taking, with Richie spamming the Losers’ group chat every time they took a new one, and eventually it was time to go home and get ready.

“Eddie, I think I found the perfect suit,” Beverly said when they walked in. She lead them to her room, where Ben was lounging on the bed.

“Woah, Bev, warn us first!” Richie said, making to cover Eddie’s eyes.  
“Beep beep,” Ben laughed, poking his own nose for a second. Eddie swatted Richie’s hand away.

Beverly handed Richie and Eddie each a suit. Richie’s was a rich blue, while Eddie’s was a deep green. Richie noticed how perfect they looked together, and he looked at Beverly, who simply smiled innocently at him.

“Thanks, Bev,” Eddie said obliviously, leaning in to hug her. She hugged him back, and then shooed them off to go get ready. Richie went to his bedroom. He hung the suit up and went into the bathroom to wash up.

He paused after brushing his teeth, staring at himself in the mirror for a moment. He took stock of himself, breathing in through his mouth and exhaling through his nose. He watched how his nostrils flared a bit. He looked better than he remembered, he looked healthier and his skin was pretty clear. Maybe he was making good progress on himself. He smiled at himself, and leaned down to wash his face. After he finished up in the bathroom, he walked into his bedroom to go get dressed. He took care as he changed, not wanting to wrinkle the suit prematurely. He walked back into the bathroom, and stared at himself for a few moments.

“Richie!” Beverly called. “Let me see you!”

He grinned. He looked good, he was going to have a great time with his friends. And he was going to tell Eddie Kaspbrak he was in love with him.

~~

Soon everyone was ready to go, and Richie forced them all into some selfies. He then took pictures of Beverly and Ben, cheering as they got into a cute position where Ben’s hand was around Beverly’s waist and her hand was against his chest.

“Okay, okay, now look at each other and laugh. Pretend I said something really funny,” Richie instructed.  
“For once?” Ben replied, and Richie nearly dropped his phone.

After taking pictures of Ben and Beverly, she insisted on taking his phone and getting a few pictures of Richie with Eddie.

“Please? You look perfect together!” she said, fluttering her eyelashes innocently. Richie shot her a fake glare when Eddie wasn’t looking, but did smile thankfully as well. They put their arms around each other, and Beverly started tapping the phone screen.

“You got the like, pimp cane and suit stuff going on,” Richie said, looking over at Eddie.  
Eddie spluttered, caught off guard, and looked at him.

“You’re such an asshole,” he said, scrunching his brows. Richie simply grinned, and he heard the click of the camera on Beverly’s phone.

Eddie shot her a look too.

“Don’t photograph him being the worst!” he said.  
“Well, then there would be no photographs of him, would there?” Beverly asked.  
“Bev gets off a good one!” Richie cackled.

There were quick photos of Eddie with Beverly and Ben, then Richie with both of them, and finally they were out the door.

“Why are we acting like this is prom or something?” Richie asked.  
“It’s fun!” Beverly said.  
“You’re really going to complain that we’re getting more pictures? I saw the ones in your room, you sentimental fuck,” Eddie replied.  
“Woah! Two very different responses. I have whiplash.”

Ben drove the car to the hotel where the event was going to take place. It was basically just a fancy version of a typical party, people gathered around with drinks and appetizers, talking and dancing. It was kind of nice.

Almost immediately, Beverly was swamped, and she and Ben were whisked away. Richie had met some people at other events for Bev’s company, and he was momentarily surprised by how comfortable he felt, but as soon as Ben and Bev were gone he felt Eddie press against him a little bit.

“Lots of people,” Eddie murmured.  
“Yeah. Some cool folks. Wanna meet anyone? Any fancy designers you admire?”

Eddie shook his head, but did smile at Richie, briefly.

“Let’s just grab some food?” he suggested. Richie nodded.

The two made their way over to the tables of food, and started to make their plates. He watched as Eddie carefully examined each item, looking at the little info cards for allergy information. Almost every time, despite examining the little cards, Eddie still picked up a serving and put it on his own plate. Richie grinned.

“Adventurous?” he asked.  
“It’s probably expensive so it probably tastes good,” Eddie said. “I’d be stupid to not try something this fancy and free.”

Richie was practically bouncing with happiness, watching as Eddie filled his plate. He followed along, grabbing one of whatever Eddie got. After grabbing glasses of water, they made their way to a slightly secluded table.

“Alright, Eds. Let’s try this shit out. We’ll do it together!” Richie said. Eddie smiled, shaking his head, but still picked up whatever Richie started with.

They ate, arguing over their opinions on some of the food, agreeing on some of them. When Eddie didn’t like something, Richie would eat it, and vice versa. It was so natural and fun that when they finished they were surprised to see an hour had already passed. Richie saw Beverly across the room, her bright red hair and yellow dress making her stand out. He smiled.

“She’s so happy,” he said. Eddie looked up, following Richie’s line of sight. He nodded.

“She deserves nothing less. Ben too. He looks so happy just watching her, being with her,” Eddie replied.

The two sat watching their friends for a moment. Richie looked over at Eddie, and saw that he was already looking at him. He grinned.

“You deserve it too,” he said. “Happiness and shit. I’m sorry… I’m sorry we weren’t there for you these past few months.”  
“Rich, it’s fine, I know… I know it wasn’t anything. I looked dead, hell I probably did die for a bit.”  
“No, it’s not fine. It’s… It’s not fine. Because I realized a lot in those few months and I wish I was just with you instead of thinking about you and being fucking sad about you, but in a way I think I needed that fucking kick in the ass.”  
“What are you talking about?”

Richie took a deep breath, and looked Eddie in the eyes. He looked confused, and he still looked tired and thin, but for the most part he looked happy. Above all, he looked alive.

Richie closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, he started to talk.

“I’m in love with you, Eddie. I have been since we were kids. I always wanted to egg you on and cling to you and get you to notice and think about me because I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about you. And I wanted to tell you in Derry, and I kept thinking, after the fight, after the fight. When everything is settled down. When you died, when I thought you died…”

Richie had to pause his speech to cover his mouth, remembering the moment when Eddie was ripped away from him, tossed through the air.

“Richie-”  
“Please, let me finish, I prepared a lot,” Richie quickly replied. He took a deep breath and nodded. “So I got really depressed. But then I remembered that you wouldn’t want me to be, and the other Losers wouldn’t want me to be, so I pushed myself to better myself because I wanted you to be proud of me, and because I wanted to be better. And now you’re here and… Fuck! I said after the fight, so it’s a little delayed, but here we go. I love you, Eds. I really, really do.”

The two stared at each other, and Richie could feel his heart thumping in his ears.

“Are you going to say something?” Richie asked, maybe a bit too quick and loud.  
“You told me to let you finish! I literally was just doing what you told me!” Eddie replied, throwing his hands up.  
“Okay! I’m done!”  
“Fucking finally.”

Before Richie could really react or understand what was happening, Eddie was leaning forward and kissing him. It wasn’t the passionate, heated kiss that he had sometimes pictured. It was gentle, caring. Domestic was a great word for it. The best word for it, however, was perfect. Richie reached up, resting a hand on Eddie’s cheek, feeling the puckered scar tissue under his fingers. They kissed each other softly for a few moments, before Eddie pulled back.

“I meant what I said yesterday. Seeing you on that stupid daytime talk show, which, by the way, why a daytime talk show? Aren’t you a late night kind of guy?” Eddie paused, and then shook his head. “Sorry! Well, I meant what I said about how it meant a lot to me. And I knew I had to come see you, not just the Losers, I had to see you. Because I realized I am in love with you too.”

Richie sat back in his chair, staring straight ahead for a few moments. So long that Eddie waved his hand in front of Richie’s eyes. He quickly grabbed Eddie’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Holy shit, Kaspbrak. We’re, fuck, we’re in love, holy shit.”  
“Are you alright?”  
“Minor panic attack but like, a really good one.”  
“I think that’s just excitement?”

Richie looked at Eddie, and the two slowly smiled at each other.

“So is that why Beverly wanted to take all those pictures?” Eddie asked.  
“Yes siree,” Richie replied. Eddie snorted, and leaned against Richie. They sat, Eddie resting his head on Richie’s shoulder, their hands held under the table, for the rest of the party.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue: Fall of 2019, 3 Years Later

Richie pressed the doorbell once, and then another time two seconds later. Eddie swatted his hand away, shooting him a look.  
“I should have made another copy of the key. I lived here. I should just waltz right on in.”  
“Your name isn’t on the lease,” Eddie said.  
“Literally what does that matter!”

Their bickering was interrupted by a very pregnant Beverly opening the door, practically flinging herself at both of them.

“Jesus, careful, you’re going to pop!” Richie said. He and Eddie both wrapped their arms around her, and she took turns kissing their cheeks.

“Hi! Hi hi hi!” She pulled back, smiling at both of them, before leading the way into the apartment. “Come in, come in! Mike and Bill got here just about 10 minutes ago.”  
“The place looks amazing, Beverly,” Eddie said, following her through the door, with Richie after him.

The apartment looked nice, still open and beautiful. Ben and Beverly were talented homemakers, and it looked like it was from a magazine. Everything they touched was gorgeous. Their wedding was probably the wedding of the century, and people had clamored to be invited just to look at the amazing decor.

Richie and Eddie barely had to go anywhere because Mike was already moving in to greet and hug them. When they made it to the living room, Bill and Ben got up from the couch to hug them as well.

Soon enough, everyone was seated. Richie leaned against Eddie, and grinned when Eddie put an arm around him.

“How are you guys?” Eddie asked. “Mike, how’s Florida?”  
“Absolutely perfect,” Mike laughed. He had been teaching at the University of Miami in its History department. “I’m really glad I got to get away this weekend. Those kids drive me up a wall. I’m teaching two 100 levels, so most of them are non-History majors.”  
“Hard to get them to care and shit?” Richie asked.  
“Mhm. I get it, but God, give me a break.”

Richie cackled, nodding a little.  
“Man, even the professors are done with this shit!” he laughed. He pretended to wipe a tear away, and then looked at Bill. “And, William, heading off to LA soon, right?”

“Yeah. Working on t-the new muh-movie soon. I’m excited, they d-didn’t want to cha-change a lot from the book.”  
“Your endings got better?” Richie asked.  
“Fuck you, Trashmouth,” Bill said, but his smile gave him away.

“And now, of course, the lovebirds,” Richie said, sitting up to gesture to where Ben and Beverly were snuggled together. Beverly patted her belly and smiled.

“How is the pregnancy going? Have those articles I sent you helped?” Eddie asked. Beverly nodded.  
“Turns out there’s a lot of things you maybe shouldn’t eat when you’re pregnant,” she said. “Thank you, it’s been really sweet of you.”  
“Do you have a name yet?” Richie asked.

Ben and Beverly looked at each other for a moment, and Ben smiled softly. He kissed her, and Richie was about to start pretending to gag when he pulled away.

“Well, we were debating about which of our moms to name her after,” Ben said, looking back at everyone. “We’re honestly still debating, but we have some time until she gets here.”

“Plus what if we look at her and she doesn’t fit what we want to call her?” Beverly asked. She looked down at her stomach, and smiled softly. “We did talk about a middle name, though. We had talked about, y’know. Honoring Stanley in some way.”

Everyone grew quiet, thinking this over.

“Thats suh-sweet,” Bill said, his voice soft with emotion. The Losers murmured their agreements. Bev smiled.

“It’s not set in stone yet. Just wanted to see what you think.”  
“It’s cute. I think he’d be happy,” Mike said. Bill nodded along.

“Alright, let’s cut the sappy shit before we all cry,” Richie said, standing up. “Beverly, my dear, you must sit this out, but I think we should have a toast. To Stan the Man, to us, everything.”

Richie walked around the couches and the counter to the kitchen, smiling as he found glasses in the same cabinet that they were in when he lived here.

“Who am I pressuring into doing shots?” he called.  
“You better not be pressuring anyone!” Eddie replied, while Mike, Bill, and Ben held up their hands. Richie counted this as a win.

He got 5 glasses and, after studying Ben’s alcohol cabinet, settled on a bottle of Wild Turkey, which he recognized as Ben’s favorite. He carried the things out to the living room and set them on the coffee table.

“Your drinks, my good men. Beverly, want me to get you anything?”  
“There’s a bottle of carrot juice in the fridge, if you don’t mind,” she replied.  
“Ugh, I’m tempted to say no because that sounds horrible.”  
“It’s one of the best juices to drink when pregnant,” Eddie piped up.

Richie grinned at him, unable to help it, and went off to the kitchen. He grabbed the bottle from the fridge, and turned to look at his friends. They were still chatting, not minding the short wait, just happy to be in everyone’s presence again.

It was a random trip. They all happened to have some free time in the fall, no major event or life milestone was happening. They just wanted to see each other again. Richie was glad for it. He lived in this apartment for about a year, and it had been about two since he left. He had stayed here when Eddie had to go back to New York. While Richie had made a lot of progress through therapy, Eddie didn’t have that much of a luxury, since he had been coming out of a coma and doing physical therapy. It made more sense for them to do the long distance thing for a bit so they could both work on themselves. Eddie got an apartment in the city, kept his job, and started going to therapy twice a week as well. Richie kept up his appointments with his therapist, Laura, too. She had certainly been surprised about Eddie being alive, but she helped him process a lot of the emotions it stirred up, including his fears about his progress. He and Eddie chatted about their appointments, and updated each other with things they realized, or things they learned that might help the other.

The privilege of being a comedian for a living was that NYC was always an option. Richie made the trip about once a month, and almost every other month Eddie was able to fly to Chicago too. They texted and FaceTimed near constantly. It wasn’t so bad, Richie thought. Not after what he experienced when he thought Eddie was dead.

When both were feeling more comfortable with themselves, they decided to move in together. It was easier for Richie to pack up and move, especially since Ben had been informally living in the apartment. He and Beverly helped him pack, and they all cried together at the airport, mostly happy tears for how everything was falling into place with everyone.

“Rich, you good?” Eddie asked.

Richie blinked, looking up to see everyone looking towards him. He caught Eddie’s eye, and the two smiled at each other.

“Yup! Sorry, got distracted by all the healthy food in this fridge. I barely recognize it anymore,” Richie replied. He walked over to the living room, and handed Beverly her drink. He sat down beside Eddie, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, tugging him in to kiss his cheek.

“Didn’t you just get on Ben and Bev’s case for PDA?” Mike asked. He had taken the initiative to start pouring drinks, and he was twisting the cap back onto the bottle.

“Yeah, but it’s like, progressive when we do it,” Richie replied back. Bill rolled his eyes, but he still smiled.

Mike passed out the glasses. Everyone raised theirs, Beverly raising her bottle of juice.

“Well, to start, here’s to Stanley,” Ben said, looking around at everyone. “Stan the Man, we’re so happy to know we always have you looking out for us.”  
“We miss you like hell, man,” Richie added.  
“W-We love you, Stan,” Bill finished.

Everyone murmured their agreement with the sentiments, and drank their drinks.

“Here’s to all of us, too,” Mike said after a few moments. “We’ve come so far, you guys… This is magical.”  
“Turtle magic?” Richie asked, causing Eddie to snort on his drink. He elbowed Richie, but smiled.  
“Turtle magic,” Mike agreed solemnly before smiling wide.

“And co-congrats to the expecting pah-parents,” Bill said. Beverly grinned at him, and rested her head on Ben’s shoulder.  
“Thank you, guys,” Ben said, sliding his arm around her.

Richie didn’t make any gagging noises. As people kept chatting, Eddie looked over at him.

“You good?” he asked, voice quiet. Richie blinked and looked at him, and then grinned widely.  
“This is really nice,” he said.  
“It is, it really is.”

Eddie tucked himself against Richie, and Richie held him close.

That night, the Losers Club ordered Chinese food and sat back to watch movies, as was their tradition. After the second movie, Richie pulled himself away from the cuddle pile of everyone to go to the bathroom. As he came back, after getting a little sentimental about how different some things in the apartment were, he stopped in the kitchen to snag one of Ben’s beers. He looked out in the living room, watching as everyone was snuggled up. Mike and Bill jokingly argued about whether they should watch Bill’s newest movie or not, Bill firmly on the fence of not watching it.

Richie blinked, and quickly counted heads.

“Over here.”

Richie looked over as Eddie walked up to him.

“Edster,” Richie said, and opened his arms. Eddie walked into his embrace, and the two hugged each other.  
“Don’t call me that,” Eddie murmured against Richie’s neck, causing the taller man to laugh at the tickling feeling.  
“You love it. You love me.”  
“I do.”

Eddie shifted and pulled back, looking up at Richie.

“I love you so much, even if you’re stupid half the time and insufferable most of the time.”  
“That’s the most romantic thing I think you’ve ever said.”  
“I’m not done.”

Richie blinked, and Eddie stepped back. He shifted awkwardly, something Richie recognized as something he did when he was nervous, or unsure.

“Go on?” Richie asked.  
“Hold your fucking horses, I’m like, getting myself ready.”

Richie snickered as Eddie took a deep breath.

“I wanted to wait until we were exploring the city tomorrow, but I really do not think I can hold it in any longer. We’ve waited a long enough time, right? Why should we have to keep waiting?” he asked, his expression getting pinched up like he was pissed off. Richie adored when he looked like that.

“What are we no longer waiting for?” Richie asked, causing Eddie to throw his arms up.

“I said wait, oh my God,” he muttered. He took another breath, reached into his hoodie pocket, and knelt down on one knee. He pulled out a ring box, and opened it up. The ring was a rather simple silver band, with a small row of diamonds around it. It looked perfect.

“Holy shit,” Richie said, eyes going wide.

“Richie Tozier, will you marry me?” Eddie asked.  
“That’s so cheesy, the full name shit,” was all Richie could manage to get out.  
“Is… Is that a yes? Rich, I’m not getting any younger, if I stay down here longer I might get stuck-”  
“Yes! Yes, oh my God, now you’re the dummy for thinking I’d say no!” Richie quickly reached down and practically hauled Eddie up. Eddie fumbled, trying to hold onto the box, while Richie crushed him in a bear hug.

“Huh-hey guys?” Bill called.  
“We’re getting hitched!” Richie practically yelled, looking out at everyone. They all turned to look, and almost immediately everyone was up and shouting.

“Right there? In the kitchen?” Beverly squealed, rushing in.  
“It was going to happen tomorrow, but I got swept up,” Eddie said, voice a little breathless. He quickly took the ring out of the box, and grabbed Richie’s hand. Richie let Eddie slide the ring onto his finger, and he grinned.

“Holy shit, Eds-”  
“Not my name,” Eddie interjected.  
“Dude, we’re getting fucking married, I can call you, like, anything.”  
“Really not sure that’s how that works.”

“Congratulations!” Mike interrupted their bickering, throwing his arms around both of them.

As the group started passing around wine glasses and a bottle Beverly had pulled out from the cabinet, Richie looked down at his ring. As he studied it, a familiar hand took hold of his.

He looked up at Eddie, and tugged him close. He wrapped Eddie in his arms, and the two kissed.

He couldn’t believe that he almost had to miss out on this. The months of when he thought Eddie was dead were long gone now, but sometimes he woke up with that familiar depression in his stomach. Thankfully now, all he had to do was roll over and confirm that Eddie was here, Eddie was alive.

As his fiancé kissed him, hand coming up to his cheek, Richie closed his eyes and smiled.

They had the whole future ahead of them now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me on twitter @indykeah if you want to yell about IT, Reddie, and Bill Hader! <3


End file.
